That’s why I’m sharing my knowledge of how to write personal histories.

Starting in January 2012, Creative Chameleon Writing Services will be offering a one-time course for getting you started and a three-week intensive on writing the family secrets. I’ll even share how to put together a family cookbook, if food is your source of pleasure.

Interested? Check out my website and sign-up for a session or ask me some questions.

Do-it-yourself family histories – as easy as pie.

Vote with a sense of responsibility. Don’t cast your vote carelessly by just following the party or the most popular notion. Really think about your choices.

Honor the  veterans by understanding their side without any preconceived judgement. Ask them some questions and expand your knowledge of who they are and maybe get to know yourself better, too. Truly love and respect everyone without exception. I hear it said, but don’t often see it done.

Responsibility. Understanding. Just a couple of words in the dictionary. Make them mean something.

Certainly, a lot of the technology is useful, but when does it cross the line from useful to useless?

Why am I sitting here now, for example, instead of going out to weed the garden? Much better option on a perfect August day.

Make conscious decisions about how you spend your time. Start today!

Shouldn’t we inherently know what to say to someone as close to us as a parent?

Of course not! In fact, it is often more difficult to ask questions of those we are closest to. We already know so much about them, so what else is there to ask, right? Wrong! I remember my mom retelling stories. She always told them exactly the same way – with completly right or slightly off details – ever time. When I was in college, I had an epiphany and thought, “Why don’t I ask her questions rather than just zoning out while she rehashes the story about driving to the city without a license when she was 15.” (They did that in the 1930s.) So I asked – and I learned. And suddenly her stories became a lot more compelling.

So, back to my friend. I gave her a few starter questions and she reported back that she learned some new things about her 90-something-year-old mom! Isn’t that great?

For the rest of you, here are some conversation starters:

1. What was your favorite subject in grade school?

2. How did grandma and grandpa meet?

3. When did you get your first television set (or radio) and what programs did you like?

4. What historical events affected you most?

5. At what age did you take your first paying job?

P.S. Don’t forget to write down their anwers.

The reunion has been over for many years now and I sometimes find myself wondering if I would have enjoyed it more if I’d been the one asking the questions!

If I were to relive those days now, I’d take a notebook and a recorder and start asking cousin Mildred about her life before she was married (I learned years later that she had nearly married a guy who owned a drag strip! A far cry from the good church man she eventually married).

Why don’t you ask some questions this year? You could start building a collection of family stories (make sure you tell your relatives you want to record it for a family archive – they might not want to share with the whole clan!). 

Talking to people about themselves is easy to do! You don’t need a journalism degree to learn about people. Most are more than willing to share about their lives. You will be amazed at how interesting your kin really are!

—David Baldacci, author, attorney, and screenwriter; on his
book, “Wish You Well”

What was the first thing you heard? A dog barking? Something beeping? Someone calling your name?

Be honest – when you first closed your eyes, it was hard to focus on one thing, wasn’t it? Of course it was. There is much noise in our lives that it seems harder all the time to focus on what really matters.

I was inspired to think about this idea after reading this blog (May 30, 2010, “Tommy Shaw Road Blog” on tour with Styx) by Tommy Shaw of Styx. He talked about noise in our lives and how conversations are on the endangered list this century. I think he’s right.

This point of whether or not anyone is listening to each other is a little sad, isn’t it? Think about the last time you were with an older person and they began reminiscing. If you’ve heard the story a million times, it is easy to let your mind wander. In my family, and probably yours, repeating stories is a favorite sport. I remember the day I finally began asking my mom questions about a story I’d heard many times. Wow! What I learned just from getting into a conversation with her. So, the point here is that you need to listen and converse.

Conversations are what make life rich and dimensional. They provide us with facts about our past – snippets of information that we can piece together to solve the mysteries of our lives.

Now, try this – what are your favorite sounds? Whose voices are your favorite?

What if you never heard your favorites again? One reason I became a personal historian was to help people preserve stories and voices of their loves ones. My parents are both gone and all I have is one very poor quality VCR tape from a family reunion, with maybe a total of two minutes of their voices and images. I once also possessed a cassette tape of my Swiss grandmother yodeling. She rarely did this but my mom persuaded her to do it once during a family get-together and recorded her. I was quite young, but never forgot that moment. Of course, the tape is long gone.

Don’t wait until it is too late to learn the stories or to record the voices. Next time you’re with a family member, just ask some questions and sit back and listen. Kids – that means you have to put down your phone and stop texting for a minute! You’ll be surprised at what you learn about them and yourself.

Needless to say, she had thousands of recipes saved in scrapbooks and 3-ring binders. On a couple of occasions she pulled out some favorites and gave copies to all of us kids.

I have been moving the colelction around in my upstairs for years. I finally took the plunge to commit to create a “real” cookbook of her favorites, of which there were many.  Soon I will have a finished book, a sort of family bible, complete with some family stories and photos. Through this, my family can relive the holidays, special events in our lives, and for a moment, dream of smelling something great drifting out of her kitchen.

Creating a family keepsake cookbook is neither simple nor hard. It is a great joy to sift through the recipes and photos. It can take way too much time if you’re like me and like to study everything carefully. If you feel overwhelmed in doing it on your own, you can get others to help you. Maybe you and a friend might even get together to work. Wouldn’t that be a fun way to learn more about your best friend?

Links to famous cookbooks/books about the love of food:

Julie Child, My Life in Paris

Not a family cookbook, but a journey to self-discovery through food.  (New
York Times review, May 28, 2006)

Tiger in the Kitchen

Cheryl Lu-Lien Tan, New York-based writer, write a memoir about discovering her Singaporean family by learning to cook with them. (Published by Hyperion Feb. 8, 2011)

At Grandmother’s Table

A collection of stories told by women about their grandmothers.